A Love Letter To Perimenopausal Women
How I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.
I look towards you with the silver in your hair, the lines of laughter and tears, the softness around your middle with reverence and awe.
I hear women moving through this transition complain, frustrated by the extra squish they’ve developed—particularly around their waist.
Where do the roots of this complaint come from? Years of being told your beauty is wrapped up in a flat tummy, perky breasts?
What about the beauty of a life fully lived?
Of wrinkles from years of laughter, tears, joy and sorrow? Of breasts that hang lower due to years of life, gravity gently guiding them towards the Earth, perhaps drawing you closer to Her. For those who breastfed, your breasts have the opportunity to remind you of the incredible life-giving power you held, and still hold, within you.
The Wisdom Of Your Body
What gets skipped often in routine doctors appointments, where you step on the scale and a number somehow chips away at your worth, is the incredible wisdom your body holds. As women age, they have a higher chance of developing osteoporsis than men, and one of the most common bone breaks happen at the hip. As you enter perimenopause (the few years before menopause begins), the body begins to gain weight. The body stores estrogen in adipose (fat) tissue. Not only does that extra fat around your middle act as a storehouse for the estrogen your body is now producing in smaller quantities, that extra cushion can brace your body in a fall.
A quick google search on weight gain during perimenopause offered tips for losing weight, how to pause the weight gain, and some explanations on the normalcy of gaining weight during this time. But where is the celebration of the uniquely feminine body and her wisdom?
I understand, it can be a challenge to love your body given our society and cultures insistence that thinness is synonymous with beauty. Body dysmorphia and general body image issues are common, particularly in the North American cultures I am familiar with. Even if logically you know that you are at a healthy weight and are taking care of your body through regular exercise and a nourishing diet, looking in the mirror, at old photos or yourself, or the comparisons on social media can bring up a lot of feelings.
Here is my invitation for you:
The next time you notice your inner dialogue turn to body bashing, pause. Put your hands on your hips, or wherever you are experiencing the weight gain that’s challenging you, and breathe into those parts of your body. Feel the squish that is protecting your bones and whisper a thank you. Allow yourself to travel deeper underneath the surface and imagine the estrogen that is stored in that tissue. Relish in the wisdom of your body, creating storehouses of estrogen as you begin to actively produce less. Allow yourself to cultivate gratitude for your body in a world that has perhaps told you your body was wrong. By embracing the changes of your body, you will be more empowered to listen to her and support her. What your body needs now will be different than it was 20 years ago. Your needs for exercise, rest, and nourishment might be shifting and if you can listen them you set yourself up for greater health and longevity.
‘When we listen to our body’s whispers, she doesn’t have to yell.’
Honoring your body’s changes as wisdom, rather than resisting what is inevitable may empower you to move through this chapter of life with more vitality, a soft inner radiance that pulses from deep within you. One that comes from reclaiming your own unique feminine expression, rather than attempting to conform to meaningless and ever-changing societal expectations.
